Dissapear
by Di12381
Summary: Based on the Hoobastank song, Dissapear. Rochester's thoughts during the party and if he had chosen to express his feeling that night.


*-Of course I do not own either Jane Eyre or this fabulous song. I'm just borrowing both.

*-Disappear By Hoobastank.

*-Reviews are always welcome

Disappear

She entered the room meekly, pointing Adele to the direction of his guests.

He had watched her closely since their first encounter on the road. This was not the first time he was in love, but this girl was different. He knew it was wrong, that he would hurt her in the end. But he had to know if she felt the same way.

_There's a pain that sleeps inside  
It sleeps with just one eye  
_

Despite his wealth and his status, Edward Fairfax Rochester was lonely. The heartache of the betrayal of his father and brother still stung as if was yesterday and not fifteen years ago.

_And awakens the moment that you leave_

She seemed to understand his pain, to sooth the demons that continued to plague him.

_Though I try to look away_

He told himself to find a woman who suited his status, a woman like Blanche Igram.

_The pain it still remains  
Only leaving when you're next to me_

Do you know, that every time you're near  
Everybody else seems far away

But no matter how he told himself to look away, to find a woman of his status, his heart returned to the one female he knew he could not have. Externally, Blanche Ingram was everything he should seek in a wife. She was beautiful, wealthly and her family was well regarded by the local society. But he knew she was cold and was only seeking him for his money and his status, a concept which he detested.

_So can you come and make them disappear  
Make them disappear and we can stay  
_

_So I stand and look around  
Distracted by the sounds  
_

The room was full, but he saw no one except her. She left the party as quietly as she entered, his footsteps echoing her own. Even in the darkness, he could see her pain, Lady Ingram's remarks had hit their target.

"How do you do?" he asked.

"I am very well, sir."

"Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?"

I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it: but I would not take that freedom. I answered —

"I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir."

"What have you been doing during my absence?"

"Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual."

"And getting a good deal paler than you were — as I saw at first sight. What is the matter?"

"Nothing at all, sir."

"Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?"

"Not the least."

"Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early."

"I am tired, sir."

He looked at her for a minute.

"And a little depressed," he said. "What about? Tell me."

"Nothing — nothing, sir. I am not depressed."

"But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes — indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my — "He stopped, bit his lip, and abruptly left her.

_Of everyone and everything I see  
And I search through every face  
Without a single trace, of the person  
The person that I need  
_

She started to walk to her room and was surprised when instead of returning to the party, he followed her.

"Mr. Rochester?" She asked, not expecting him to follow her.

"Jane, I…" he stopped suddenly not knowing what to say.

"Your company sir" she reminded him.

"Do you think I give a whit about them, Jane?".

"I wouldn't know, sir, I have never had any reason to have guests over".

He half smiled, that was his faerie, always to the point.

"Edward…" Blanche Ingram's voice drifted upstairs.

"You should return to your guests and your bride sir".

"I am looking at her" he replied with a frankness that even surprised him.

"Sir?".

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you--you'd forget me".

"Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God's feet, equal — as we are!"

She suddenly burst out, a show of emotion he had not seen before and he knew that for certain that his love was not one sided.

_  
Do you know, that every time you're near  
Everybody else seems far away  
So can you come and make them disappear  
Make them disappear and we can stay  
_

Edward Fairfax Rochester was not a passionate man, at least to the casual observer. But few knew the man under the cold, polite façade and that moment, he cared not for what others thought of him, only of the faerie who stood before him. He did the one thing he knew would shock them all and he didn't care. He kissed her.

_  
Can you make them disappear?  
Make them disappear_

To his delight, she responded to his kiss with a warmth not even he had anticipated.

"Let's get married tonight, no one else will know".

"It is late sir; I doubt the vicar would be awake"

That was his Jane, always thinking logically.

"Then tomorrow"._  
_

"Yes" she agreed.

_There's a pain that sleeps inside  
Sleeps with just one eye  
And awakens, the moment that you leave  
And I search through every face  
Without a single trace, of the person  
The person that I need_

He forgot everything that moment, the only thing that mattered was that he had found his true match.

_  
Do you know, that every time you're near  
Everybody else seems far away  
So can you come and make them disappear  
Make them disappear and we can stay_

Then the image dissipated. He watched her walk up the stairs to her room and hearing the voices of his guests, despite his heart, returned to his company.


End file.
